I had a realization the other day. Not a stunning one, but a realization nonetheless.
One that occurred as I was viewing photos on Facebook,especially when I look ed at the people that live in the city, the friends and colleagues I will be associating myself with;
The life I am going to be leaving and the madness I am going to be stepping into:
I am not rich.
I was not born rich.
I do not have well off parents that can provide rent, “extra money” just in case, credit cards, and shiny things.
If anything, all the hard work put into getting me through school has been in the aspiration that one day I will be able to help the family with so many other expenses, and give my parents a well-deserved break just in time for retirement.
With unemployment, being laid off, and other things- this is a dream of mine that has been within my grasp and lost, and I believe I am well within it once again with the new opportunities that have been bestowed upon me.
I’ve been lucky enough to have a hardworking mother, stepfather, and when he was alive- father, that have shed blood, sweat and tears to put me through my college education.
Of course, having rich parents or not is not a necessary attribute for success. As I was reading on WSJ –http://www.outsidethebeltway.com/rich-parents-dont-matter/ – there’s so much more to life that being raised among the wealthy, country club hopping, never knowing what it is to not have whatever you want or choose between a pedicure or lunch for the week, people of the world.
But it sure does help.
I find myself worrying about :
not having enough clothes
to thwart off the very much true fact that I will be on my own, fending for myself, in a world of fast paced intellectuality, that, more often than not, is also influenced by one’s aesthetic.
Expenses in New York City are no joke. The lease on an apartment alone will be a major financial issue. Not to mention the investment of winter clothes- something I have never had to worry about after living in Miami for 16 years. It adds up, these little things. And yes, it may sound crass, to be worried about my wardrobe-but as professional woman approaching her 30’s in the next couple of years, there’s a certain place I think I should be, and a certain representation of myself I should have in the workplace or when meeting clients.
So, what can I do?
Options considered are :
winning the lottery
learning how to sew and making my own clothes
Writing to Oprah
Having one of you submit me as a candidate on “What Not To Wear”.
Bring Potato Sack Fashion Back.
I was never savvy ( or coordinated) enough to learn to do my own mani/pedi without looking like I just dunked my hands and feet in fingerpaint. Straightening my own hair? I look like I am having a seizure trying to hold the brush with my left hand while blowdrying with my right.
Tally up the costs of these normal luxuries we, as women, give ourselves to keep ourselves prim,trimmed, and sparkly.
Now- subtract that from …0.
or from deciding whether to pay your student loans, rent, groceries,gas,cell phone, internet- with whatever income you’re getting.
So, this is my fear.
With work getting into full swing- I am searching for the places that won’t make me feel like I could’ve spent the money better elsewhere, than on myself getting my nails done,hair done, everything did. Or solutions. ( “do your own nails” bootcamp, anyone?)
“Be a Woman. Powerful business when done correctly” – Mad Men